Morale meter

It’s a custom at work. At the beginning of every week, we write what we call ‘weekly snippets’. Snippets summarise what we did the previous week and what we plan to do in the week that has just started. Over time, writing weekly snippets has become my morale meter. When I am happy with the work, I have no issues writing my snippets. When I am not so thrilled about the work, I don’t even want to think about snippets.

What should I do when I find that morale is low? That, I am yet to figure out.

Going home again!

We’re going home in about 4 days. Many things to look forward to, but these are on the top of my mind.

• Seeing the family again, after about 15 months.
• Food! From Tamil Nadu/Kerala style parotta to mom’s mochai kuzhambu to gooseberries, Sattur cucumbers, and what not. The dosa mom makes is awesome too.
• Indian roads. Oh, how I miss them! This picture I took during our road trip to Kodaikanal is a favourite, and makes me homesick almost every time I see it.
• Seeing extended family and friends. There is a ton of sweet people there. Hoping to meet at least a few of them.
• Did I mention food?

Tests and scores

When my friends used to fear and despise tests and exams in school, I wasn’t so negative about tests. Most likely because I had no issues excelling in those tests. After years of going through tests, one day I realised something. Tests are tools for evaluating one’s own progress. Fussing about grades and ranks is besides the point. The main benefit of taking a test is that when the results come out you would know if you have learned well enough. (This is assuming you believe what the test measures is important.)

I had a similar revelation again today. I have been doing vision training exercises for the past few weeks. Vision training computer program gives you a series of challenges and gives you a score for each challenge based on how well you tackled it. These challenges are designed in such a way that they stretch your eyes’ focusing muscles increasing the efficiency of your eyes. Once you score above a certain threshold in a challenge, you are taken to the next level where the challenge gets a little harder.

At some point, pride took over and I got too fixated on the score. All I had in mind when sitting for the training was that I should score above the threshold and move to next level. By blindly focusing on getting to higher levels, I failed to notice what the vision training was meant to accomplish: to train your eyes to perform well in different scenarios. Like how physical exercises train your body to do well in different scenarios.

In hindsight this is obvious, but I didn’t know this was a mistake I was making. My mad attempts to push through the levels in the training programme actually made it harder for me to make any progress. Once I knew what’s the essence of the training, I could consciously focus on what my eyes were doing rather than the score I’d be earning. I did the training the “right way” today. Though I didn’t score enough to move to the next level, I am confident I am on the right track.

Relocating again

I liked Bangalore, but my job there was less than exciting. Because of my friends there, I started to see life in a new way. I’m sure it freaked my family out when it was happening, but that life in Bangalore was crucial to what I have become now. When I left Bangalore, I left with an apprehension for leaving a good city.

I hated Hyderabad from day 1. Work was good, and I found some very good friends. Over years I managed to tolerate Hyderabad -- especially with the help of this blog -- and it wasn't a pain having to live there. But when I did relocate, I was apprehensive about leaving all these friends behind.

Sydney improved the quality of my work life greatly. I started feeling like I was back in college. I learned many new things. Got my first promotion after years. And I liked the city from beginning. Even today, my desire to travel Australia is mostly unfulfilled. I could happily continue to live here for 5 more years with so many more places to see. Work is also great, which is a huge bonus.

Yet, I’m moving out in a few more months. I feel this move makes no sense now. I’m moving mostly for the sake of moving. But a dark nook of my mind says that some day I'll recount this as a good decision.

You’ve been awesome, Australia. I’ll miss you.

Being locked up

What does it mean to be locked up in a jail or a mental hospital? Being Bi-Bi shows a glimpse into such a locked-up world:

My hand hurts. To just write (this was originally handwritten) in here I have to borrow a pen. And then hand it back when I'm done. I have no internet, no phone and no music.

Imagine having to live for a year with no access to music!